From the flood-waters of Bihar

I had been planning on writing something for a long time...but I didn't. Mostly because I have been a lazy fart.

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It's funny how much my life has changed in how little time. The people, the PLACE, the daily routine, my thoughts and preoccupations, the way I speak, my lexicon and so on and so forth. At some level I feel all of us are uncomfortable with change - and I was sharing this with a dear friend of mine. We (I think it was only me) concluded that the best way to retain who I really am (was) would be to not resist at all. To treat my new life as if it was the normal.

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Why am I writing this? I don't know. It's the outcome of a queer set of desires - many facets of which I can't feel now. Sorry for the disjoint writing - its a combination of what should have been separate posts because I thought/felt these things at different points of time in the past month.

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For the benefit of those not familiar with my work - I will work with a sales team in North Bihar for the distribution of my firm's products. [maybe ill not be so secretive with my particulars and be more detailed in due course of time, but at this moment it seems appropriate to be so]

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It's funny but I hadnt anticipated Id enjoy my work so much - if myself from three months ago were to write back to me of now, Id be a traitor in my own eyes. [idea courtesy C&H] But its true I do love my work. Im given a target in numbers and I have to achieve it! I dont have to go to office, i don't necessarily have to wear shoes everyday, I can be late, I travel and I meet nice people almost always. And I think the reason is that I have not resisted the change this job is bringing to my immediate environment.

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The most depressing day yet - was returning by car from Darbhanga late one evening, we were proceeding as part of a long caravan of trucks at the slowest possible rate. On either side of this most horrible 'road' ever there was flood water. It was murky from having been there too long.
I turned on my ipod and as it began to get dark I prepared myself for a tedious time...

Mr. Dylan sang -

...where black is the colour


and none the number...

And almost as soon as I was getting comfortable...I looked at the moon. Then I followed its gaze, down to the flooded terrain. In the darkness, with strong winds making tiny silent waves along our way, in the middle of all the tragedy - a single faint yellow light. Someone was actually living there. In the next couple of hours I counted upto 31 such whispers for help. I on my part was trying to sell them amongst other things sanitary napkins.

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Its crazy how much people respect me here. Im 'Sir' even for those more than twice my age. I don't know how many of us would be comfortable working for somebody much younger? I try and be as respectful as possible - but im 'Sir - being nice' thats all. But the team is most brilliant. Anything you ask them to do is mostly done. We should be on our way to the month's number despite all the flooding. Plus they are nice and great fun.

Oh and there was this wholeseller in Sahibganj (upcountry Muzaffarpur, ~45 kms away from nowhere) who got extra emotional because I sat down with him and had Chai and spoke nicely to him. He has sworn to give 'poora dhyan' to all our products now - I have a strange confidence he'll actually do that.

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People here drink the sweetest, milkiest tea possible - and I had accustomed myself to faint Earl Grey. Thankfully I have taken to the former, im offered in excess of 10 cups of it everyday.

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Its also crazy being a Bihari in Bihar. People will try and perform all sorts of circus tricks to get to know your caste. LOL. Having gone to boarding school at the age of 6, I was away from Bihar so long that when asked my caste in college by this stupid electoral candidate from my state - I said, "of course im Hindu!!" Then I corrected myself, "err - Brahmin??" People with my surname are mostly of the Kyasthe variety, im however a Bhumihar. [Information courtesy my beaming parents - proud of our grand lineage] Anyway, I guess now a few people here know, so everyone must know. Guess it will have its repurcussions. Guess this is Bihar.

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My co-manager here does the most awesome mimicry of 'endearing' traits of people we know. (Don't kill me!) We have had great fun the last month...

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Umm run out of things to say now...im sure there are more. Later I guess.