Throwing Shoes

If you have been completely busy these last few days, doing something, having a life or just digging your nose and counting the stars then you might have missed this. Three highly trained, ultra awesome, super brutal Navy Seals shot dead ‘three’ Somali pirates.

Simultaneously.

And CNN will go on and on about this. And invite retired Navy Seals who will go on and on about how incredibly brilliant and kickass the whole thing was. What's with these people? Why are they behaving like its America’s first military success in almost a decade.

Oh.

Anyway If I ever see a pirate I’m going to throw a shoe at his syphilis infested ass, for being so lame, throwing a show now being the international symbol of pure hatred and/or ridicule.

I’d also want to throw a shoe on –

Barkha Dutt, again for being so lame.
Randomly, into space. Randomly.
Delhi, just so that I could be there to do it.
Amar Singh Ji.
HD Deve Gowda, to wake him up.
Anybody else who will return it.

So the elections began today. An election that will decide the fate of this country. The largest democracy in the world. An election that is not about development, fighting poverty, eradicating hunger, reversing unemployment, fighting terrorism, America, uplifting women, reducing the fiscal deficit or the nuclear deal. And yet an election that will determine each of these parameters over the coming future.

An election with 750 million registered voters. But one where only 250 million of them will punch in 400 million votes.

Btw, what exactly was the nuclear deal? I know that the Prime Minister said we’d lose everything if we didn’t sign it, and the Left said we’d lose everything if we did. But what happened?

Oh and I am not voting. And endless “Jago Re” campaigns shall have no effect. I have my reasons, but I will not lie, apathy and laziness top that list. Also the fact is, all three candidates from my constituency are certified criminals and endorsed assholes.

Maybe I’ll throw a shoe at them too.

Do you know that at one point dueling was an Olympic sport? Of course any activity, where the Silver and Bronze medals are always awarded posthumously, had to be fairly short lived. But then that was the last time the Olympics were interesting.

I think the time has come to inaugurate throwing shoes at each other as an Olympic sport.

Or shooting Pirates, with sniper rifles.

Someday, I want to see a tornado. Actually not really. Maybe if it’s just really cloudy without rain, ill be happy enough. That’s my favourite weather. Cloudy without rain and some breeze.

Oh, and if you thought the elections, or Barkha Dutt, or the Olympics, or even I was lame.

Navy Seals right? The Seal is for Sea, Air AND Land. Honestly.